Papa's Purple Chicken
This is purple chicken that I had to eat to have dessert. And I didn't like it. My papa made it because he thought it would be good for us. But I didn't like it. And Colin didn't like it. But we had to eat it. The end. Purple chicken.
posted by Jacksons at
7:31 AM
7 Comments:
This recipe comes from View Ridge and is recommended for anytime you only have very close family dining with you. Enjoy this exciting new dish from the kitchen of Mike Jackson!
Papa's Purple Chicken
4 cloves garlic
2 sprigs basil
vegetable oil
olive oil
cheap red wine
linguini
4 chicken breast tenderloins
About 3 hours before you are ready to cook, put four tenderloins (still in bag) in bowl of hot water 'cause that's what a friend told you to do...although they did not tell you when to do this.
3 hours later...
1. Bring about 14 cups of water to a boil. Realizing you are way too early for that, turn heat down to medium, thus maintaining heat but no longer getting spattered with hot drops.
2. Over medium-high heat, in medium sauce pan, put about 2 medium tablespoons of vegetable oil. Quickly move way and watch mouth as hot oil bombs hit your unprotected forearms and neck.
3. Cut up very-well-defrosted chicken into gravel size pieces and throw it into dancing oil. Quickly! Run back and cut up the rest! It's cooking so fast!!!
4. When chicken looks cooked on all sides, drain vegetable oil out into sink, 'cause everyone knows you don't really eat that stuff. It's only a lubricant.
5. Replace yucky vegetable oil with expensive-looking olive oil. Put in garlic and a large slug of red-wine (notice how ingredients seems to be avoiding each other).
6. Turn up heat on 14 cups of water and put in more pasta than you think you'll need. Always nice to have leftovers when you're not sure where your next meal is coming from.
7. When pasta is done, strain and put in serving bowls. Kids will be hungry at this point and wanting "somfing to eat."
8. Don't get frustrated. Don't get frustrated. Don't get frustrated.
9. Sprinkle chopped basil on top of each pasta hill, along with a little olive oil and parmesan cheese. Don't worry about how white it looks, the color is coming!!
10. Optimistically put 5-7 pieces of bright purple chicken in each bowl and enjoy! You family will be saying ""It's so yucky looking, I ate it all up when told I couldn't have ice cream 'till I did!"
From one of the many test kitchens in America.
Ah, Trevor. The picture makes the chicken look pretty good. Do you think your papa will cook it again?
G'ma Mingy
trevor,
the instructions on how to attempt this purple chicken at home from your mommea made me laugh so hard i almost peed in my pants.
love
aunt molly
Hello Trevor.
The chicken sounds yummy and very healthy too.
Your Papa and you make a great chef team. When your Uncle Gray was little, he and his father made new recipes together too, like Willie Wonka's Chocolate Crunch. It was yummy too but not so healthy. we can make it the next time we are together. When I dig carrots in the garden, I think of how you helped me last year with digging. Do you remember? I miss you and love you very much.
Hey Trev,
Sorry to hear about that purple chicken. Sometimes you have to pay the cost to get some ice cream, I remember what that's like. But don't forget, mommy and daddy are human too. If you have to, you can wait them out at the dinner table, I have experience with that too. Ask me what cost-benefit analysis is next time we're together.
Love,
Uncle Graham
Grandad,
I do remember picking the carrots in the garden with you. How did your carrots do today?
Uncle Graham,
My papa thinks you're funny but I don't understand your joke. What did Popo and Grandad make you eat?
I love you Grandad and Graham...and Popo.
and grandma mingy and aunt Molly too!
Trevor
Just to clear the record. Mike wrote the Purple Chicken recipe. I just posted it. He's too modest.
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